Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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