Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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