My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So. Much. Porn.
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