This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
