It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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