i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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