I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
