i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
