So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
