i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
