my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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