he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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