The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She's the barista slut.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
