Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
