It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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