What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
