It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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