He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
