We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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