I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The power of my boobs compel you
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
