sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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