So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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