a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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