i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
