I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
