they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
