Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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