just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hippo gnu deer
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
