but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
