im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
