i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
