What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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