We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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