I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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