there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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