hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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