if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My cat gives me a boner
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
