yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Even my vagina gasped.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
