cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
