im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
