Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
time to smoke my breakfast
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
