can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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