even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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