We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
