I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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