playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
