he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
should my penis look like a turkey
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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