i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
