I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
