if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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