I want to have your abortion
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
