Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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