if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
